What Father's Day means to me...
I became a father for the first time seventeen years ago a couple weeks ago. Over the years I've evolved as a dad, always trying to do the best that I know to do for my children. I certainly and admittedly got off to a rocky start as a dad. It hurts me inside to acknowledge that, but its the truth. I realize seventeen years in that really all you can do is set your children on a path, but you certainly cannot walk that path for them. Basically being a father (parent) is about providing a framework of moral living for your children.
But this post is about my late father. I'm seeing all these Father's Day posts and at first they made me sad and jealous, which are typical human emotions, until I realized that they didn't have 'my' dad. (Which, of course everyone feels that way...) I learned so much from my dad, and I wish I had learned even more. The biggest thing I learned though was to be intellectually courageous and to stand up for what you believe and to be principled.
My dad was in some ways an enigma. And really, that's not that unusual as people are usually multifaceted. But he was unusually so. Super tough, yet would often cry about things we achieved or did. Incredibly well read but not classically (or at all) educated in the modern sense. He would and did work from before sun-up to after sundown but also REALLY knew how to have fun (I've heard stories...)
Here's a partial list of what I've taken away from my own father.
A love of the outdoors. Today I hike, he went for 'walks'.
A love of animals and dogs, particularly. I've been a late adopter to #doglove. Now I get it.
The only way to get anywhere in life is to earn it. Outlast, outwork, outfight, out mentally tough everyone else.
Although I don't get to do it very often (at all... someone take me...) I love fishing. I see now that him taking me fishing wasn't about the fish, it was about life lessons such as patience, reward, and frankly sometimes you just come up short.
You will never be stronger, faster, tougher or generally more epic than everyone else, but you can outsmart them.
Be moral even if you're not religious. My dad was on again, off again about church, etc. And while all of us fall short of being moral 100% of the time, I definitely try (and also fail) to do so.
Your family and friend circle will be small, and that's OK. Find one or two friends and love and support them with all that you have. The rest are just acquaintances.
Stand up for what you believe. My dad protested a landfill that was going to be built a few miles from our land growing up. I didn't get it then, but I get it now...
Don't kill mockingbirds. For real.
Loving nature is not a partisan issue. It should be an all of us issue.
I could go on and on and won't bore you but I will close by saying that I don't know where you are Papa but I hope you have a fish on your line, a good book, and are able to watch your St. Louis Cardinals on free TV. (RIP Papa 1927-2007)
